Since writing the last chapter of my story I had to take
some time off in order to gather my thoughts, and reflect on my actions of that
day back in labor day weekend of 2001 Which as I've said a (1000- Time's )in
the past every time that I've"tried "To even Talk about
this issues they've always Left me Shaken to the Core/Almost Speechless Unable
to Finish Telling my Story!
Also since then (my kid's)Who were absent from my life since
2018 do to me,and their mother falling out over some" Racial
"Comments that were made by her to me last year when I told her (To Get
Her Head Out Of Her Ass,And Pay Attention To Our Son)who was going through some
personal things at the time While living all Alone in Ky,Which Of Course Then
Caused Her To (Re- Act) As always,And told me that I sounded like a
"Fucking Nigger" ,Her Words Exactly!
Recently came back
Into my Life Causing me Now to be Afraid that I'll (Hurt them Again )once
They'll Read All This,And end up loosing
them for good this time?
With that being Said Please Understand that my Intentions
when writing my Story Have Never been to Intentionally Hurt (Anyone)Other Then
to Exposed those who have purposely hurt me,and my family for Year's Now Over
What I Call Were Racial ,And Social Injustice
Issues Which I've always kept quiet about In order to"Protect
"Those I've loved the most Until Now!
U have to be blind,dumb,and Stupid For people Not to See what's Really going on
All Around this Country Today with the Same exact issues that got me put in
Prison" 18-Yrs"Ago,And even doe I'll be the 1st one to admit that I'm
also Not with out fault here when I literally abandoned my kid's back in
2001,Just so I could go on live the so called"Street Life",This also
does not give the right to anyone to have (framed me),And taken my life away
unjustly the way they did Simply B-cuz
of a bunch of Crooked Azz Copz Refused to their job properly!
Anyway that day after putting my hands/Feet all over the
mother of my kid's do to the thing's that were said about her by her own So
called Friends, we decided to leave the wedding, and while we're all getting in
the Car,The mother of my kid's decided to Return the favor,and started punching
me all on my face while sitting in the front seat of her car,and Jody sat in
the back!
Now I can't say that I blame her for what she did,and as a
matter of fact in my hart I know that I deserved everything that I got that
day from her as she unleashed the Irish
white girl on my latino ass,But the one thing that I'll Never forgive her for
is what she did Next!
See instead of hitting her back,and end up going back to
jail on some domestic violence bogus Ass charges which I've never been to jail
for in my life,I simply decided to get out of the car,and started walking under
the Rain the 60-Miles or so that I was away from home while her/friends all
drove by me yelling all kinds of Racial insults at me!
I can't even remember how many times in the past I had done
this same exact thing that I was now doing in order to avoid going to jail or
to simply get away from her crazy Azz!
One time back in 1997 While pregnant with my daughter, and
we're (only) arguing driving by the Marion county jail,I can still remember how
she threaten to pull over at the jail,and tell the copz that I was beaten her
up,to which she then asked me if I knew
what (they)Meaning the cop's did to"Niggers"Like me that beat on
pregnant " White Weman"?
(Again) Back in 1999 while I had been living in Chicago with
my best friend (Rip)Natasha f.Kellum,and I kept trying to get my shit together,
Out of No where the mother of my kid's Started calling me again like she always
did when I would start dating someone New and started promising me marriage
talking about"Family ",Which of course then made me Re- Act like I
had always done So in the past when confronted
with this type of subject and caused me to hurt Lot's of innocent weman that
would try to love me including my best friend
Natasha when I last saw her alive
in the summer of 1999,and I left her,and her son Nico (both) Completely
broken hearted,only to end up back in jail down in Florida when the mother of
my kid's ended up calling the cop's on me telling them that I had tried to kill
her!
See what happened was that on my very 1st day back in
Florida, the mother of my kid's decided go out,and stayed out All night long
making me look like a complete fool in front of the whole neighborhood at the
projects where we lived at the time called (sudden place),until the next
morning when she finally showed up with a bag full of" Dirty"Clothing
including a pair of white panties full of(Blood/Cum)!
So Hell yeah I did go a little Crazy on her sorry Azz when ever I saw this type of
slutty behavior coming from the woman I loved/sacrificed everything for,but
Never once did I even put my hands on her for her to have snicked out of the
apartment 1st thing in the morning and called the cop's behind my back all
while on the phone with me pretending nothing was wrong,And the (Swat team)
knocked down the front door,and took me away to jail on some bogus ass charges
that I never even committed!
That day As I walked
under the Rain in the Hot Florida Summer not really knowing weather or not I
was gonna end up being picked up by the Racist/Red Necks central Florida Cop's
which knew me very well by now,and hated my guts for dating a(Couple) Of
"Married" Ex-Female Copz that worked at the Marion County Jail Where
I had done plenty of time at,I swear to god
that he must've felt my Pain all the way in his Soul that day as I walked
not really knowing where I was going or what I was doing 1/2 Drunk on Whiskey
because I must've only walked only a
couple of miles or so before some fine ass female ended up picking me up,and
drove me all the way to my front door even beaten the mother of my kid's home!
Now what I did next is something that I've always struggle
with since then, and have often wondered what if?
See when I got home that day after the wedding, I sat all
alone in complete darkness contemplating killing the mother of my kid's for all
the hell She,and her Racist ass family had put me through all the year's we
dated off/on since we 1st met back in
the fall of 1993,(Why)I chose Not to do so is something that I've always
Wondered about ,for only god knows the extent
of the (injuries) that this so called woman have caused not just to
me,but also to my family,and even my own daughter (Grace )whom she,and her
Racist Father Rejected when 1st born do to the Color of her Skin,kinky hair,and
obvious (African) decent which are the true reasons (Why)they've always hated
me!
Anyway when the mother of my kid's finally made it home that
night with that bitch Jody still tagging along,I ended up tearing her clothes
completely off her body,and decided to return the favor as she had done to me
the night before, and we had really Rough Sexx!
I know that I got her pregnant that night because I came
inside of her on purpose just as I had done so when I got her pregnant with my
daughter back in 1996,and she had came over to my house literally Crying/drunk
talking about how much she need it to tell me something that would for ever
change the way I felt about her?
End of chp#7
CHAPTER 10
BLOOD of a SLAVE, HART of a KING chapter 8
Sun morning, I woke up sometime around 9-am,and the 1st
thing that I did was look for the mother of my kid's all around the house
Unsuccessfully Now thinking that I was going back to jail!
Hello Mrs.Sheryl,I said to my girl's mother as soon as she
picked up the phone?
I must've Sounded really worried over the phone because
Mrs.Sheryl( the Only person in that whole family that was always kind to me,and
Never showed me any of that Racist shit)Told me to calm down because Kim was
already on the way back home with the
kid's!
When they got back I remembered literally breaking down in
front of my kid's as(We)Sat alone in the porch while my daughter grace rode the
bouncing horse that my best friend Natasha had bought for her for one of the
previous Christmas, and my Son Jerred Sat in my lap trying to explain to him
how he had to be the Man of the house Now that I had to leave again!
I'll Never forget that day as long as I live!
Afterwards I remembered going inside the house, and while
we're eating breakfast, The damn phone started ringing, and as the mother of my
kid's started talking I realized that it was Maryjane on the phone talking shit
about me demanding payment for the bathroom door that I had knocked off its hinges
the night before!
Now I swear on everything that I love that (If) would've
simply heard the mother of my kid's stand up for me,and defended my damn Honor
Against this other (Suburban Hood Rat)That I had known for most of my life,and
I knew in my hart Was No Fucking good
either,I probably wouldn't have done what I did next,And probably would've
Stayed!
But because the mother of my kid's did Neither one of the
Other, I jumped on the phone Right after she got off it,and decided to call
up"Heather" Just to show her that I wasn't playing any game's with
her to which of course she then Responded by literally snatching the phone off
my hands,and throwing it against the wall!
But not before I left a message on Heather's phone urging
her to come pick me up at my (B-M)House,and that I looked forward to Spending
time with her!
Anyway about an hour later I gave the mother of my kid's a
choice to either take me to my own
mother's house where Heather could then come pick me up,and she wouldn't have
to be( Exposed) to seen her in person Or Heather her self could come all the
way to where we lived,and
(Fuck all )about how she felt about me moving in with
another brand New Chick!
Now I know that what happened next must've Broke the mother
of my kid's Heart into a Fucking(1000)Pieces which in my head were my Exact
intentions do to her own ultimate betrayal against me,But for me to have
Exposed my own kid's to my violent behavior It's something I should've Never
done!
Of course she chose the latter choice that I had given her
for if is one thing that I've learned about the mother of my kid's is that she
much rather die,and Spend Eternity in hell ,then to Ever be Exposed As the True
insecure/Scarry Woman that she Truly is!
On the way to my mother's house we got into a big ass
fight,and instead of hitting the mother of my kid's, I ended up Punching the
damn dashboard of the Car So hard that I literally put a big hole in it causing
my kid's to get scared, and my daughter started Crying just like she had done
the Very 1st Time we picked her up from daycare, and I had held her in my Arms
After being absent from her life for almost 2-long Yrs!
Since I started writing this chp of my book earlier in the
day I've had to stop numerous times after breaking down/Crying my eyes out
thinking to my self how the hell I could've Ever been So Fucking Selfish and
done what I did to my kids!
Shit got So bad on the way to my mother's house that day that we literally had to pull
over,and decided to go grocery shopping at the Publix Supermarket just so We
could All calmed down!
Anyway when we were done,and the mother of my kid's drove me
to my mother's House, we said good bye in the worst way then we had ever done
so in the past Right as Heather decided to pull up on us!
End of Chp#8
chapter 9
That Sun afternoon As I said good bye to my girl,and kid's
at my mother's Crib in one of the worst Way's that I could've ever imaginings doing so including when we made
love in the shower prior to leaving the house,and I told her this exact
word's,( That was the last time that I Ever Fucked u),As I remember walking Out of the shower,And
hearing her soft Cries/Moan's,Heather then decided to show up at that exact
moment
in her Brand New jeep
playing the music really loud Attracting my girl's attention causing her to
start her Car Up,and Halling ass out of there leaving me standing there
watching her,and my kid's drive away unto the unknown as she always did in the
past!
I then reluctantly introduced Heather to my mother who Never
really did liked the mother of my kid's
do to the fact that mother's always do know best,along with the fact that the
mother of my kid's had (Once)put her fucking hand's on my mother over
some"Jealous "Shit that had had Nothing to do with her,and yet did so
anyway in order to punished me,and take her anger out on her!
Even then(We)Never Put her Sorry ass in jail or even pressed
any type of charges against her,and yet every time that she got the chance to
get (Revenge)Against me or my Family,She Never missed the chance to do
so!
Anyway after I explained to my mother what had taken place
between me,and the mother of my kid's, She gave me a Hundred $ Bill Just So I
could pull my own weight with Heather, and she wouldn't feel like she was
taking care of me specially since what she had told me about her ex-boyfriend
(Raymond Casanova)Had been A True bum!
We then said our good bye's, and me,and Heather went
straight to the projects to get a Couple of nickel bag's of weed from" Red
cap"Who we both knew from around the way before going home,and spent the
night making love!
That night As me,and Heather layed in her bed together after
we had made love,I remember hearing a song by Sade called (By ur side)Come on the Radio,and
Right away I thought of the mother of my kid's, and how she had sent me the
name of this exact song while I had been away locked up in a Wisconsin prison
literally fighting for my life,and told me how she would Never leave my Side!
End of chp#9C
