On Aug 29th 2001 As I was being released from the Marion
county Jail in ocala,fl,A sheriff deputy by the name of"Walker "said
the following words as he escorted me to the front door!
(Hey poff)he said to me calling me by my adopted name that
was given to me by Joseph d.poff back in the early 80's when he married my
mother Aurora E.Saenz,And we lived in Panama (my country of origin), then later
decided to bring me and my siblings to the united States!
(Why)don't u just get ur self a job,build u a family, and
stay out of those damn streets (Boy),He said to me in a real deep southern
country accent, before u catch another case,and end up loosing ur life,u know
that ur running out of" 2nd-chances"!
Now after what must've been at least a(100)Trips to this
county jail alone since I 1st moved to Florida back in the late 80's untill i
left fla in late 2001,this was actually only the (2nd time )in my life that I
had made the decision to give up the "street life"and not end up like
most Guy's I've known,"Dead or in Prison 4-life"!
Once was back in the early 90's when I had already been
arrested (Twice) As an Adult, And was facing prison time and the judge gave me
an option to either (go to prison or go in the Army),then when I had been ready
to quit just so I could go back to living the so called street life,I decided
to give the military a Chance after my mother Aurora told me over the phone
that there wasn't Shit to come back home
to and Sgt.Morales,(my drill Sgt) literally helped transformed my life!
Now even doe I did ended up leaving the military earlier
then the 3-yrs that I had signed up for as a( combat engineer )do to my personal believes when it cums to
going to( War )Against other countries that sometimes we shouldn't get involved
with, I did ended up getting an"Honorable discharge "from the
military which I'll always be very proudly of !
Anyways As u can read
from my Story as I go on I did ended up
making a" Million "Other mistakes since my military service and ended
up hurting those I love the most,but the one thing that the military did teach
me to do that I'll never forguet is to Never quit despite what ever challenges
one may be facing!
(I remember) During basic training,And Sgt.Morales had
caught me on the phone one day with out permission,and gave me (2)different
hour's of guard duty which I failed to do so during the 2nd hour(3-4)in the
morning, and the very next day when Sgt.Morales showed up after we had just
gotten through eating breakfast, and were cuming out of the chow hall,he called
out my name by saying,(where u at poff)then when I responded, he said to me,go
beat ur face against the wall,which meant(,upside down push ups)Intended to
make me throw up my breakfast!
I wish that I could say that this was the end of Sgt.Morales
wrath against me,but unfortunately 4-me this was only the beginning!
In that movie," The officer, and a gentle man"When
Richard geere got sweated by his drill Sgt during basic training had Nothing on
the way Sgt.Morales Smoked me!
See Until I graduated from basic training which was now
about only 2- Weeks away or so when i
got into trouble about the whole phone thing ,Sgt.Morales made the M-60(aka)"the
War Hog"which is a fully Auto weapon that weights about 50-pds my best
Friend!
Front,Back,go, is a famous exercise in basic training
commonly used by drill Sgt when soldiers do something wrong which is hard
enough to do in it self,but ad a 50-pd machine gun to it out in the
snow,rain,or in a room with all ur gear on,and the( heat )purposely turned all
the way up is almost impossible!
Talking about almost drying and giving up,there wasant one
day that went by when I was going through all this hell with Sgt.Morale's that
I didn't think of both,and yet somehow I made the Decision to never quit!
Then on the day when I
finally graduated from BASIC while other soldiers enjoyed time with
their families, and I stood there all alone Sgt.Morales walked up to me,and
skook my hand,and I remember him saying this exact words,Now ur a Soldier Poff!
Then when ever I finished with(A.I.T)Training at ft.Leonard
wood,mo and I got shipped to my 1st duty station at Ft.Kambel Ky,101st.Airborne division where
most soldiers have died from during the( 1st Iraq,and 2nd War) ,I quit after
receiving orders to go to"Somalia "Where that other famous movie(,
Black hawk down)Was made about my unit,and soldiers that I met before they were
all tragically killed!
See it wasn't that I got scared or anything like that made
me leave the army, but it was because of the way that I had seen my mother
Aurora in a damn wheel chair after
getting hit by a car by some (white boy) riding around in a stolen car when I
went home for Christmas on leave that year in DEC 1992 ,that made me decide to leave the military, and go
home!
Even My own mother
has always thrown in my face my sudden departure from the military even doe
I only did what i did for her,and would
literally be (Dead) today if I would've
stayed in ,even the judge on the case for which I sit in prison for today
Jacqueline d.schellinger understood my reason for leaving the military, and
even reasoned with me when the way I was brought up by my mother ,and the many
man she was involved with (abused me )came up during my sentencing report and
even then I defended my mother's( Honor) with gusto against this dope
fiend/racist ass judge who never met my mother before,then I got (80-yrs)In
prison when I continued to profess my Innocence, and told the judge that I
couldn't be sorry for a crime I didn't committed!
Anyway that day when I walked through the last of the
security doors ,and into the lobby area of the Marion county jail, sitting in a
corner was the mother of my two kids Kimberly a.Curtin who through all of my
previous jail or prison stays in the
past had never once been there for my
release,but there she
was with that look in her eyes that said it all,(I'm here 4-u now Jeff,but only
4-this once, and only time), As if all along she knew exactly what my destiny
was gonna be!
Then we walked out the jail( together )hand in hand down the
long corridor leading to the parking lot ,under the hot Florida sun as it
shinned on my girls beautiful /almost angelic face,Her fire red hair and emerald
green eyes that seemed to look right
through my cold Soul,As I remember looking up at the beautiful blue
skies, and telling my self this exact words,Fuck the streets, I'm going home to
be a family man!
Little that I knew doe that"Destiny"must've had other
plans 4-my life because as soon as we got home,and we're ready to go to sleep
for the night,A damn demon in the form of a woman named( Jody )showed up to our
house,and 4-Ever changed the direction of my life!
End of chp-1
chapter 2
Anyways that day after the mother of my kids picked me up
from the Marion county jail,and we're now sitting in her car,(A 2-door late
90's Mazda that look more like a well used Hoopty),I remember being approach by
a female sheriff deputy that knocked on our window, and told us to move it
along after me,and the mother of my kids got a little bit carried away while I had started to undo the zipper in her
pants,and we finally got the Chance to be alone for the 1st time in almost
2-yrs,then she leaned into my ear,and I remember her whispering this exact words,don't
worry about it Jeff we'll finish this when we get home ,besides Right now we're
late picking up the kid's from day care/School which is exactly when I then
started thinking about my daughter (Grace),and decided to ask my girl weather
or not she mite remember me as her Father?
See not only had I missed the birth of my little girl back in Oct-1997do to the fact that(ICE)Had
me under their custody, and almost got
deported back to my country of origin"Panama "where I was born
at and originally raised until I came
into this country back in 1984, But also do to the fact that me,and the mother
of my kids were constantly Separating do to the deep racial issues that
(still ) exist within her family ,along with me dealing with my own demon's
that I had been struggling since childhood which then caused me to always
" Run Away"back,and forth from Florida to Milwaukee, and Chicago
,(Once Again) in Jan-2000 I ended up moving away to Milwaukee
with my real father Jeff Thompson cortz whom I had met for the 1st time
sometime in the late 80's,and had always denied me as his own Son!
(Do u think that Grace will remember me)was the exact
question that I remember asking the mother of my kids that day as we pulled
into the(CFCC)Central Florida community college campus parking lot where she
was currently attending school at under the single parent program to become a
teacher, and my daughter received free daycare!
"I don't know Jeff",Was all that she said to me
before getting out of the car,and I went to face one of my many" DEMON'S
"!
As I stood there in the middle of the day care center
literally sweating bullets waiting for my little girl to be brought out to me
in front of all this " White People "that kept steering at me like
the true convict that I now was instead of( the good guy )that I was portraying
to be,Out of the corner of my eye I saw the most beautiful little"
Angel" I had ever seen before Standing there from about 10-feet away
steering at me with those same exact (challenging eyes) I had seen in her
mother earlier in the day when I was being released from jail,then after what
it felt like eternity standing there when in reality was probably only minutes if not seconds out of no where a
small miracle occurred and as if everything made perfect sense in the
mind of my little girl, She started running toward me
saying daddy,daddy,
over,and over again until she reached me and I picked her little
body up in my arms, and carried her outside with (Tears of Blood) falling
down both of our faces!
Once outside I asked the mother of my kids if my daughter
could ride upfront with me instead of putting her in her car seat in the back
do to the fact that not only I could literally (feel )my daughter hanging on to
me for dear life,but Also once I did I knew in my hart that all hell was gonna
break loose which is exactly what happened as soon as I did!
Any way as predicted as soon as I decided to place my little
girl in her car seat in the back she started screaming/Crying with so much Rage
in her voice that even to this day almost( 18-yrs)After the fact I still Wake up in the middle of the night having
nightmares that feel so real that take
me
right back to that
day,and literally make me break down like a little boy!
This fact's have been disputed by the mother of my kids many
times in the past when I've attempted to tell my story in order to hurt me and
erase every single memory that(We)miteve ever created, but since I do happened
to Remember Everything that ever tooked place between us,she can longer hurt me
anymore or stop me from telling the world about what I considered to have been
some of the best memories(We) ever created!
On the way to pick up my son jerred from his Catholic school
at blessed eternity cathedral of hwy-27th where we use to attend Mass at
sometimes on Sun's led by father Pat a personal friend of the curtin family,
I really tried talking to my little girl in order to calm her
down,and make thing's Right between us,but then every time that I did she would
start screaming/Crying all over again as if she was trying to Tell me that I
had betrayed her all over again whenever I had been forced to place her on her
car seat per her own mother's order's!!
Just leave her alone Jeff, she'll be alright, was the only
thing that the mother of my kid's said to me as we drove the rest of the way to
my son's school in occurred silence!
Anyway when we arrived at my son's school I tried hiding
behind the mother of my kid's car in order to surprise him,but because his
school was on top of a hill facing us he saw me before I could see him,and he
let me know right away, I see u dad,he said to me as soon as he reached the
car,and I gave him a big o hug telling him how much I had missed/loved him,
then he said to me,are u gonna stay with us"this time",As if he was
all ready use to seen me cum/go on a reg basis, and this was just another part
of life which broke my hart and I told him(yes)As me,and the mother of my kid's
had agreed to do so prior to my released from prison despite her own families
wishes, and protest which they have made very clear. Were totally against!
On the way home we all sang along to the country music that
was playing on the radio per the mother of my kids request which at the time I
only tolerated because we couldn't find anything else on the radio and is
something I can barley even do today do to all the damn"Memories
"Most song's are related to her,and our family!
Before we got home doe we decided to stop at the local gas
station by the house out in the country on hwy-27th called (Quick King) where I
remember buying some things to make dinner for the kid's ,along with a Pk. Of
Newport 100's cigarette's, and a Pk. Of large Trojan condoms per the mother of my kids request
which to me seemed kind of odd especially since I Never wore condoms because
they always broke, and I ended up
getting her pregnant on accident one time that then caused us to drive all the
way to Orlando,and got a very discreet abortion!
After feeding the kid's some " Arroz con Frijoles
",my daughters Fav at the time, And then putting her,and her brother in
the bathroom for their nightly bath,Me,and my girl then quickly snoked into the
kitchen which was right down the hallway
from the bathroom where we left the door wide open so we could hear the kid's,
And we finally got to make sweet love!
(I Remember) that Fuck me look that my girl had in her eyes
that day as she quickly undressed me,and with out even saying a word to each
other assumed my Fav sexual position (Hands Down/Ass up),As I spread her beautiful thick Ass cheeks
apart,and eat her pussy/Ass from behind,
then slide my big black manhood
inside her already very wet pink pussy lips which drove me absolutely
crazy to watch as it always did in the
past when we would make luv!
I can still remember the way she taste, felt,and even the
way her female scent still lingers on my manhood today!
I can't even remember how many times in the past I've
attempted writing my story as I'm right now,and
in the mist of it I've had to stop,and( in my mind)I've made luv to my
girl a (Million) times More!
There's a movie that's about (labor day),and a scape convict
played by Josh R.and Kate w. That plays a broken hearted woman and in the span
of only (3-days) they built a special bond that lasted a lifetime!
See when I came home on Aug 29th,2001Me,and my girl built a
special bond over labor day weekend that in my
mind still very much alive today, and even doe this may only be the case
with me alone,in my hart (I know) that I'll see them All one day,I feel this in my
very own soul just as I always use to do in the past when all seemed to have
been lost,and somehow " Allah "Would make thing's right again!
Anyway after gone several more rounds of intense luv making
between me/my girl that included once in the shower where she used the shower
head to play with her clit while I did her from behind looking in the mirror
watching each other have sex,and another in the bedroom where we only
did(69),and came into each others mouths, Right as were about to go to
sleep for the night with my little girl
now laying right next to me,the damn phone started ringing, and Right as my
girl was about to get up I said to her" Don't "which she then totally
ignored and came back a min later talking about, we're having company, and I
shouldn't worry about getting dressed?
The last words that I said to my girl that damn
night(After)I personally got to
witnessed what I did were "THIS TIME UR GONNA LOOSE ME FOR EVER"AS I
TURNED MY BACK ON HER AND STAYED AWAKE ALL NIGHT CONTEMPLATING MY next MOVE!
END OF CHP#2
Chapter 3
The day(after)I found out that the mother of my kids had been unfaithful to me while I had been away doing time in Wisconsin literally fighting for my life (not)with a man,but with a damn Woman named" Jody "Just like the one's we used to sing about in the military during basic training,I decided to wake up real early, and cooked breakfast for the kid's, and got ready to face the decisions I had already made in my mind about my future with the mother of my kids and what I was going to do with the rest of my life!
The day(after)I found out that the mother of my kids had been unfaithful to me while I had been away doing time in Wisconsin literally fighting for my life (not)with a man,but with a damn Woman named" Jody "Just like the one's we used to sing about in the military during basic training,I decided to wake up real early, and cooked breakfast for the kid's, and got ready to face the decisions I had already made in my mind about my future with the mother of my kids and what I was going to do with the rest of my life!
See while the mother of my kids and the woman who she
claimed to have been her" Best friend"Were out on what they( both
)claimed to have been a "cigarette Run t"hat lasted approx (30-Min or
So)Before showing back at the House all flushed/ red around the neck,and face
like she always did after(we)would have sex,I decided to call my father up in
Milwaukee, and made plans to return to Wisconsin' where I had unfinished
business with the individuals that had"Attempted " to frame me for multiple crimes while living
with my father back in Feb,2000 and I had tried to defend his (Honor) against a
bunch of dirty/ coward /Rapist Ass fed
Pigz that not only had brutally raped my father's (4-year old grand
daughter),and had robbed him of 1/2 A"Million "Dollars in Cash ,But
had also tried to killed him!
Anyway after dropping off the kid's at day care, and school,
me and the mother of my kids decided to get something to eat at one of my
ultimate Fav places where they served Southern style breakfast, and homemade
biscuits sitting right in the middle of the ghetto of hwy-27th where I used to
spent a lot of my time at when thing's at home weren't going right or I didn't
have anywhere else to go!
Welcome to Hardee's,may I take ur order said the pretty
young black female behind the counter to me ,and my girl as we stood there
studying the menu hardly unable to keep our hands of each other!
Yeah I said to her, let me get 2-bacon,egg, cheese biscuits,
2-hash brown, 2-large oj's,and 2-Small
black coffees'!
Will that be for here or to go said the young black female
to me again?
For here I said to her, and as I was paying for our food
with the little check money that I had made hustling during my incarceration
time in Wisconsin,The young black female behind the counter made a comment
about me and my girl, and how good we looked together as a couple which to me
hurt very much to hear do to the decisions that I had already made about my life,
and how I was going to have to stand on as soon as I arrived at my parole
officer office where I was now do to be at 9-Am!
While we sat there
eating our food which my girl was now eating of my plate like she always did in
the past when I would either Cook at home or we would go out to eat,I couldn't
help,but wonder(Why)We couldn't just get our shit together, and live our life's
with out all the bull shit involved?
I mean I knew from day one all about her racist ass family
specially her (father )who not only use to always call me
a"NIGGER",But had also taught his younger Son's to do the same exact
thing's which used to drive me fucking crazy,and sometimes I really hated
"her" For her family racist ways specially when (we )would get into
it,and she too would start calling me out of my name,but then when she wouldn't
get around her family, and it was just (us alone )She was the most beautiful
person that I ever knew besides of
course my best friend (Rip) Natasha f.Kellum who was also a "White
girl"but never once got disrespectful or ever called me out of my name!
When we arrived at my parole officers office named
ms.T.Keene whom I had known since the mid 90's after my release from prison,
and 1st got put on parole, me,and the mother of my kids sat in the car with the Ac on high blowing on us
kissing each very passionately until
they finally opened the doors!
Before we said our good bye's that day I almost told my girl
how I felt,and almost had a change of heart about my future plans which I now
sometimes wonder" What If",But then
again since I've always been a True believer in fate regardless of the
consequences I decided to say fuck it,and kept shit to my self!
Oh don't forget that u got to watch the kid's tonight Jeff,
said the mother of my kids to me before getting out of the car and I
remember how pist off I got after hearing her say this to me do to
fact that once again she was gonna be spending time with not only her so called
best friend (Jody), but also with other females that I couldn't stand to be
around or wanted anything to do with do to their background ,and reputation
which I had personally got to know back in the days when I was involved heavily
in the dope game,and I knew what must of her so called friends were about!
Chapter 4
After signing in at the parole office, and
then being escorted directly to the
bathroom for a (piss test)where of course I tested negative for all drugs,I was
then greeted by ms.Keene,and taken to
her office where I already knew how exactly was gonna go down for me!
So how is it going poff, said ms.Keene to me and before I
could even sit down when I entered her office, and respond to her question, she
started asking me about what happened to me in Wisconsin, no doubt probably
talking about the Murder, and Shooting Case that I had been charged with as
soon as I had arrived in Milwaukee back in January,2000 After transfer in my
probation up there!
So before I ended up being interrogated by a member of law
in for cement which I knew Ms.Kneene was a proud member of,and I against do to
all my bad past interactions with them,I simply told her the Truth, and said I
didn't do it!
I even went on to explained to her how prior to me
transferring my probation up to Milwaukee I had been against it do to all of my
father's Political affairs that he had going on at the time but because things
had been so bad between me,and the mother of my kid's, I really had no where
else to go which was really the same
exact story all over again now!
OK poff said ms.Keene to me,just make sure that u stay drug
free,and refrain from any police contact, and check in with me every week,I'll
let u know what ur parole officer up in Milwaukee Say's about u moving back to
Wisconsin!
On my way out the door I ranned into one of my other
expo's,A steroid muscle freak that I had back in the day's, and as soon as he
saw me he too started asking me
questions about what had happened to me up in Milwaukee?To which I then responded by only telling him that it was
none of his business, and continued walking out the door with out even missing
a
pimp in my step!
Once outside I light a Newport,and started walking the 1/2-A mile or so distance to the
nearest gas station on hwy-40 Where I then attempted to call the mother of my
kid's in order to see if I could get a Ride back home and was told that she was
with a client, and wouldn't be free until 2-pm!
I also attempted to call other people that I knew in order
to get a ride home,and I was told that most of them were either at work or
unable to do so!
I then remembered that I had memorized one of my ex cell
mate's at the Marion county jail( Raymond Casanova's) girlfriend phone# only known to me at the time as"Princess
"which I then decided to call immediately, and finally got somebody to
come pick me up!
Hello is princess there I asked the sultry voice at the end
of the other line,and right away( I knew) that I had her when I started asking
her questions about her man,and not only
did she literally started denying him,but also decided to throw him under the
bus by stating that he was now away in prison doing time for what she claimed
were do to her own actions against him!
Now if I would've been paying attention to the obvious
sign's that were going on all around me
that day when princess(aka) Heather colandrea attempted to pick me up at
the gas station, and ended up going to the wrong place,I swear that I wouldn't be
where I'm today!
An hour later when princess finally decided to show up at
the gas station where I was at she definitely knew how to make her precense
felt when she showed up in a silver late 90's four door 4/4 Jeep Cherokee
blasting one of my fav song's at the time by snoop dog/mater.p called"
down ",and had every body that was there including some construction
workers that were eating there lunch sweating her like the true princess that
she was portraying to be!
But the true challenge came when she pulled up Right next to
me,and I opened her door,and with out even saying a word to each other, she
drove off like a true gangster making everyone there jealous as hell!
As we drove off Right away I noticed how sexxy this Chic
really was,and how her (cold blue eyes )kept checking me out from head to toe,
as I did her,and her thick thighs kept ridding up her short summer dress which
I was now loving very much!
Finally when the song had gone off,we started talking about(
what we're gonna be doing,and where we're gonna be doing it at)Which to me
sounded perfect at the time,that was of course until we picked up one of her
Friend's which was one of my homeboys girlfriend's named" Red
Cap"That I knew from the hood,and doing time in the county,and we're
sitting in her jeep with the ac blowing on us (High as a kite) from all the
damn weed we had been smoking since she had picked me up,and out of no where
(She)Started talking about how she couldn't take another broken hart with real
tears falling down her face as if this woman had really Been hurting at the
time!
Now a sucka I've Never been,but I don't know if it was all
the weed that I had been smoking that had me feeling some type of way
specially with just being released from
prison and going through all the baby Moma drama that I was going through, but
I swear that I fell for this bitchez game and literally felt sorry for her ass
to which I then responded by hugging/kissing her,and promising her that I would
(never) break her hart again!
Now I know that I should've Ranned the other way as soon as
I heard this (Crazy bitch )break down the way she did that day,but instead I
took her to her place at yum yum tree's apt.complex of the Blvd right by where
my mother use to live,and I fucked her all night long!
I can still remember the purple see through Victoria secret
neck lage,along with the purple thong panties/Braw that she was wearing that
day as she came out of the bathroom, and literally got on top of me,and rode me
like I've never been riding before!
We licked,sucked,and fucked
each other all night long, then when I couldn't go anymore, she went
into the bathroom, and got a cold washcloth and wiped me down from head to toe!
That was the exact type of treatment that made a mother
fucka like me fall for a woman like her!
Sometime during the early morning hours of the night,I
remember waking up,and literally puking my gut's out from all the damn
alcohol/drugs that I had taken that night,and possibly even from all the freaky
sexx that I had,then I remember thinking about my girl,and kid's, and breaking
down crying quietly in the bathroom thinking to my self what the hell did
I had just done knowing damn well that I
shouldn't be around this type of weman let along alcohol/drug's!
The next morning before leaving Heather's apartment, she
invited me to spend the up cuming holiday weekend (labor day)with her and her
father James colandrea down in vero beach,fla where she claimed he owned a
beach house mansion, and whom she assured me was some sort of (mob bozz )that
would in fact like me very much do to the similarities of our father's being
both that of"Sicilian"Race!
Anyway I ended up turning down Heather's invitation do to
the fact that prior to my released from the Marion county jail I had promised
my girl that I would accompany her to Maryjane's up coming labour day weekend
wedding where she was a bridesmaid, and had also promised me"freaky
sexx"at the (18th-hole)at the golf course where the wedding was
rescheduled to take place at.
On the way to the mother of my kid's crib,me,and Heather
smoked another blunt,and agreed to catch up after the holiday weekend, then she
dropped me off,and not only did I forget my Newport's in Heather's jeep but now
I remembered that I didn't have a key to get inside so I literally had to crawl
through a very small window while all the neighborhood watched!
Once inside I called the mother of my kid's at her job to
let her know that I was alive, and hopefully she wouldn't be so mad at me for
leaving her hanging the night before!
Thank u for calling gee gees hair saloon, how may I help u
said the voice on the other end of the line?
Yeah I said let me talk to Kim,tell her is the father of her
kid's calling!
And with that she was on the phone in 30-Seconds or less!
What's up I said to her,and she responded just as I had
taught her to do in Spanish (Nada)!
Then as soon as she started asking questions about where I
had been, I simply responded by telling her "with some homeboys", and
the only question that she asked next was are u OK?,to which then really hurt
me to hear because instead of bitching at me she was now showing me how much
she truly did care!
I then started playing a movie, and I remember hearing the
sound track by Marc Anthony ( I need to know)playing in the back ground so I
then decided to turned it up really loud so the mother of my kid's could also
hear it, and that seemed to have gotten her attention because right away our
conversation went directly to the subject of Jody,and how we're gonna be
spending Fri night with her,and her family to which I then responded by only
turning up the music really fucking loud before finally hanging up the phone on
her!
I then got down on the floor, and started Doing diamond push
ups,squats,back arms,and sit ups for about an hour straight before jumping into
the shower and prepared my self for what I all ready knew was gonna be a very
long night!
End of chp#4
Blood of slave Heart of a king chp#5
Anyway that Fri night after the mother of my kid's showed up
at home from work,we decided to go to the local mall on hwy-200 for dinner, and buy some clothes for me to
Wear for the up coming labor day weekend wedding which I was now dredging do to
the fact that I knew in my hart (something)Terribly was gonna go down!
While shopping at JC pennies for an outfit for me ,I
remember having to put my hands on my son jerred when I kept teling him to stop picking up stuff from the
selves, and throwing them on the floor, I can still remember (the hurtful look
that my son had in his eyes afterwards!)
Afterwards we all went to eat at a new crio restaurant where
I remember buying some beans/Rice,along with some yellow plantains, and
pork,and having my little girl sit on my lap,and eat my food together!
Then on the way out the mall I remember seen some punk azz
dudes drive by me,and my family throwing up( Gang Signs)To see if I was plugged to which I only Re-Acted by
throwing my( hands up)As in a What's up type of way,and as they were driving
off,I remember my girl getting really pist at me,and asked me(Why)I had to be
the way I was?
On the way to Jody's house,I remember trying to talk to my
son in order to make peace between us,but he kept Ignoring me,and wouldn't talk
to me at all!
Then we stopped at the local Abc-Liqore store where I
remember buying a 12-Pk of Corona beer,and some blunts for what I already knew
was gonna be a very long night!
Once we got there right away I was introduced to Jody's
husband, and her kids,and while we're playing cards(Spades)Which I had to be
the once to teach them all how to play,my girl started flirting with Jody right
in front of my face,So I decided to play the same game,and started flirting
with Jody too which then made my girl get real jealous and started giving me
dirty looks to which I then of course re-acted by laughing at her and continued
doing my thing all night long including
while on the dance floor with Jody bump/grinding, and my girl's own
attempt with Jody's husband which I looked at like a fucking lame!
Finally after smoking a 1/2Dozen blunts,and all the beer
that I could drink,my girl had finally had enough, and told me this exact
words,(Let's Go)To which I then insisted on driving home drunk/Stone,and my
girl had to intervene telling me no way for which I was very thankful for!
Anyway when we got home, and put the kid's to bed,the mother
of my kid's insisted on getting on my case about flirting with Jody for which I
found very od to do because she was the
whole reason (Why)I started flirting with her on the 1st place,but since my
girl is (100%Irish )when she's drinking, she insisted on picking a fight with
me,and pretty soon things got out of control very quickly!
Like always when we would get into a fight she started
calling me a"Nigger",And then told me to get out even doe I was
already in my boxer shorts trying to go to sleep on the couch just so I could
get away from her,but (again )Since I do believe that because my girl does come
from (generations )of"Racism "Which even to this day almost(
18-yrs)After the fact she still insist on using that fucking word"
Nigger"Every time that we fight in order to try,and belittle me,and make
her self feel like she's
Superior then,I believe that what happend next she did it
only to show her power over me!
See when I kept laughing at her for acting like a spoiled
rich white girl that couldn't hurt me with neither her fist or words,She then
decided to literally rip my boxer shorts Right off my body while I laid down on
the couch, and got on Top of me and
(Fucked me )in a way that she was showing me not only who was really in
control, But also that she was gonna take the dick regardless of how I felt
about her at the time!
Not really sure if I would call this(Rape)Or not do to the
fact that at the time I was very much turned on,and even enjoyed what she did
to me,it wasn't until after the fact that she made me feel worthless because
not only did she not kissed me during the whole act or showed any real
affection tourch me!
It was always just about the sexx with her, and nothing
else!
See Even to this day
I can still remember her always talking about my Big black dick,and how much
she loved it inside of her or how much she loved to suck it,But then every time
we would get into a fight it was always u fucking Nigger ,(S.M.H.)!
End of chp#5
Blood of a Slave,Heart of a king, Chp#6
Sat morning labor day weekend, when I woke up sometime
around 10-Am,The mother of my kid's had left
already to her own mother's House to drop the kid's off so we could
attend Mary Jane's wedding later on that day,So I decided to jump in the shower
to get ready, and out of no where (Jody) decided to show up,and literally came
into the bathroom,and pulled the shower curtain back talking about she was
there to give me a hair cut,As I stood there
butt ass naked with my dick Now semi hard washing my body!
Now(If)I would be been a dirty mother fucka like the mother
of my kid's always claimed that I was I simply would've done like I believed
she was doing to me behind my back and
went ahead,and fucked this slut like she was pacticly begging me to do,But because I'm a man of principal that
never did could stand (trailer park trash,)I did as I've always done when
confronted with such situations, and shut this bitch down,and instead I decided
to play her ass,and got all kind's of info from her!
As soon as I got this bitch by her self while cutting my
hair outside on the porch wearing only my boxer Short's just to show her Ass I wasn't afraid or intimidated by her
precense, she decided to throw my girl under the bus by 1st telling me that they weren't that close
of friends, and that when they had 1st met she couldn't even stand her!
Then when questioned about the status of their relationship
weather or not they were More then just friends, she told me that she would
tell me the whole story when we got to the wedding later on that day!
Then the mother of my kid's decided to show up,and we all
got ready to go to the stupid wedding where I knew something terrible was gone
go down!
On the way there which was approx (60)Miles away or so at
some fancy ass country club in the middle of no where, we 1st had to stop at
Marion oaks housing to pick up Maryjane where she lived,then we stopped at the
local Arbyss fast food restaurant where we got something to eat,then the mother
of my kid's started driving taking all the back roads in order to avoid traffic
which in my head I couldn't help,but wonder(How)She knew all the back road's so
well to this place specially when they
went directly by one of my main enemies house nick named"Rafi "who
was a Puerto Rican dude much older then I was that almost got me killed back in
the days when I was heavily involved in the dope game as only a (teen ager),and
he got jealous of all the $,Cars,Houses,and Weman I was getting while his old
ass worked a 9/5 living in a 1-bedroom apt broke as fuck!
Anyway when we finally got there we're all sweaty from the
hot summer Florida heat and my girls car not having any Ac,then as we're about
to get out of the car this bitch Jody out no where decided to asked me in front
of my girl if I ever fucked while high on cocaine?
I just gave the mother of my kid's a dirty ass look, and
shook my head at this bitch as if letting her know I didn't fuck around!
Then while we're all inside the club getting dressed me in
the Mans bathroom, and them in the females, I decided to go tell the mother of
my kid's all about what this bitch (Jody)had said about her prior to us leaving the house,but
then when I got there,and I started asking everyone that kept coming out of the
bathroom to get my girl, and All said that she wasn't anywhere to be found,I
remember seen the color"Red"All around me As I personally went
looking for her "Every where", and couldn't find her,So instead I
went to the bar where I remember drinking about 2 or 3 (Jack on the Rocks),And
then decided to go looking for her again which I ended finding outside smoking
cigarette's with Jody. (Again) Looking all Red/Flushed all around the face/Neck
area as if she had just had sex!
Now I felt something inside of me (break)And I remember
feeling completely numbed inside, As I stood there watching her take pic's with
everyone that was there at the wedding Except me which completely broke my hart
and deep inside I knew that if I didn't leave I was gonna end up doing
something I would probably regret!!!
During the ceremony which took place as the Sun was going
down ,I remember looking at this people
that I knew neither cared/loved each other very much if not at all and yet in
the eyes of others they had everyone fooled!
So I asked my
self(Why)Continue fooling my self with someone that act's like I don't even
exist at all,and the only time(She)Is happy is when I'm fucking her"
Dirty"Like the true slut that she was instead of the Woman that I kept
trying to make her be!?
Finally after the ceremony, and we're all eating our dinner
which she did with the groom and bride,and me with Jody, along with some older
cougar Chic that ended up telling all about there little 3-Way dike experience
they'll have had during the mother of my kid's b-day back in Feb of that year
and they had gone to a strip Club called,"Cafe Risqué "In
Gainesville, Fla where they had paid a stripper to turn my girl out,and
afterwards they had (All)Went home together!
I swear to god that' before this old bitch could even
finished telling me her Story, I was already out of my seat chasing after the
mother of my kid's as I seen her head to the woman's bathroom,and I followed
right bejind her literally kicking the door completely off its hinges,As (Once
Again) I remember seen( Red) all around me,As I
knock her out completely with one Punch, and I started kicking, and
punching all over her body like some dude I was fighting instead of the woman
that I had come to love so very much!
End of chp#6
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